18 de Julho de 2019 -

How can I start and end a hard conversation?

por Felipe Dib

Hello, my friend! How are you? If you're out of time or "in a rush", go to the last paragraph of this text for a fast answer.

In times of immediate responses and connection 24 hours a day, talking about long-term transformation is a risk! But… we believe you can (and must!) dream big, and make a daily effort to get better every day. This is our mission - seeing you speaking English and being a Leader wherever you go. "The 5 Essential People Skills" was written by Dale Carnegie and its goal is to improve your people skills. In other words, to improve your relationships at work and at home.

Last class we talked about delivering your message effectively. Today we dive deeper into this topic, focusing in hard conversations we tend to avoid, such as firing someone, breaking up with someone, asking for a promotion…

I don't want you to keep saying "this is what I should have done" and that's why I'm writing this article to you, my friend. Instead of fantasizing, let's get prepared for the next opportunity! Please pay attention to 3 things: your body language, your words and the conclusion of this dialogue.

"When you're being berated or insulted, it is very easy to let your body speak for you instead of your mouth; you might fidget or nod, shrug your shoulders, or even offer an apologetic smile. All of these things are signs of conciliation, indicators that you are on the way to giving up", says Dale Carnegie. What should you do, then? Limit your body language. Look the other person in the eye. Let the other person talk.

You respected the other person and you controlled your body language. Now it's your turn to talk. Speak in first-person terms. "Stand up for yourself by keeping your language direct. Speak from your own point of view". Avoid the words "I'm sorry" now because they express passivity.

Control your body language, speak in first-person terms and bring the situation to a close. "Take control of the situation by being the one to conclude it". You have two options: either you suggest a solution or a compromise. What will be your next hard conversation? Comment here and see you next class!

1. The first step for a successful conversation is: ___.

2. It's easy to ___ your ___ speak for you, instead of your ___. That's ___.

3. A strategy to control your ___ is ___.

4. Saying "___" in a hard conversation ___, Dale says.

5. The last step talks about ___.

6. Next class talks about ___.

7. Dale says we must ___ first, without ___ the other person.

8. Carnegie says that ___ is an expression of ___.

9. You must ___ the situation by being the one to ___ it.

10. With this class we learn the relevance of ___ a conversation.