12 de Julho de 2019 -
Hello, my friend! How are you? If you're out of time or "in a rush", go to the last paragraph of this text for a fast answer.
In times of immediate responses and connection 24 hours a day, talking about long-term transformation is a risk! But… we believe you can (and must!) dream big, and make a daily effort to get better every day. This is our mission - seeing you speaking English and being a Leader wherever you go. "The 5 Essential People Skills" was written by Dale Carnegie and its goal is to improve your people skills. In other words, to improve your relationships at work and at home.
Today we start a new chapter of this book, called "the three-part assertion message". Last classes we talked about assertiveness and how you respond to aggressiveness. Now we'll study tactics to apply our previous knowledge.
Your (assertive) message must be delivered in 3 parts:
1- Summarize the facts of the situation;
2- Express your thoughts and feelings;
3- Clearly state your wants and needs, including benefits to the other party.
Simple, isn't it? In theory, yes. "This three-part formula lets you express your concerns without being personally aggressive. The formula is simple, but using it can take practice and self-control", says Dale Carnegie. I know you need to solve problems at work and things must be done, and I also know you'll be more effective if you include the benefits for the other person you're speaking with.
"Assertiveness is not really about power. It's about self-respect". Some people don't like to hear feedback and tend to take it personally. They resist change and it's your responsibility to deliver positive results, my friend. As a leader, you're in charge of finding ways to perform faster and better.
Follow the 3-part message - summarize the facts, express your thoughts and clearly state your needs including the benefits to the other party. Will you find resistance? Yes and "if you're dealing with an inflexible individual, a good tactic is a little inflexibility on your own part". It means you must calmly, firmly and clearly state your needs. Keep calm, my friend. Respect the rights of the other person and answer these questions:
How can I express my message more clearly?
How can I be more specific about what I have to say?
How can I avoid being drawn off course by the other person?
Comment your answers here and see you next class!